


Moving On

by Red_Lenses



Series: The Second War For Earth [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24851761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Lenses/pseuds/Red_Lenses
Summary: Bismuth and Pearl discuss the past and looking to the future.
Series: The Second War For Earth [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689916
Kudos: 8





	Moving On

**Author's Note:**

> This one is set slightly before - and slightly after - the events of s1e16 (Steven The Sword Fighter).

The clash of Bismuth’s hammer was still ringing in Pearl’s ears as she sank to the floor of the forge, letting out a slow sigh. The combination of the heat and several hours of work was finally beginning to get to her. As much as she enjoyed helping Bismuth out, she certainly was not made for this.

Bismuth’s form seemed to waver in the heat haze as she carried the newly finished piece over to the far wall. The crimson glow of lava had dyed the unfinished suit of armour with shades of orange; the new shell-shaped pauldron glinted brightly in the light as Bismuth fixed it in place upon the left shoulder. She retreated a step and crossed her arms as she critically examined the piece, making sure it perfectly matched the other half of the pair. “What do you think? Looking good so far?”

“It looks wonderful,” Pearl agreed with a weary smile. “But this really isn’t necessary. My old set is still in good condition.”

Bismuth turned away from the armour stand with a frown. “I can think of a dozen things wrong with your old set.” Her expression relaxed into a smile as she crossed the room toward Pearl. “Besides, if you keep coming by to help me out, I want to make it worth your time. What better way than to make something for you?”

“You’re too generous.”

Pearl began to rise but Bismuth stopped her with a raised hand. “Let’s take a break. There’s no rush.” With a grunt she settled down on the floor beside her. Pearl set her gloves aside and rested her head back against the anvil, hands clasped in her lap atop her protective apron, breathing in the smells of hot metal and molten rock.

“What exactly is wrong with my old set?” she queried after a moment. “The work is perfect. You made it yourself.”

“Sure I did, several thousand years ago,” Bismuth pointed out. “We were in the middle of a fight for our lives. Now I can take my time to make your new set absolutely flawless. Besides, the old one has Pink Diamond’s insignia on it.”

Pearl’s hand lifted to her chest and her fingertips lightly brushed against the apron, over the spot covering the insignia she still wore. When she didn’t respond, Bismuth turned her head to see her friend averting her gaze. She let out a sigh, almost wishing she hadn’t mentioned it. It was clear to all of the Gems that even fourteen years later, the pain of loss was still as fresh for Pearl as it had ever been.

“… Pearl, I know it’s hard to let go. Especially for you. But even she didn’t want to use that symbol any more,” Bismuth pointed out quietly. “She might have been a Diamond, but all she wanted to be was the leader of the Crystal Gems.”

“I know.” Pearl’s palm covered the spot, fingers pressing into the thick apron. Slowly she relaxed her hand and let it fall back into her lap. “Sometimes I envy you, Bismuth. You’ve always adapted so quickly.”

“Quickly?” She raised an eyebrow. “You sure you’re thinking of the right Bismuth?”

Pearl continued as though she hadn’t heard her. “Just look at you. You discovered so quickly exactly who you wanted to be and how you wanted to help our rebellion. You adapted easily to forging weapons and armour. You handled it so well when Pink revealed herself to you. You’re… you’re closer with Steven than the rest of us. I’m sure you don’t ever…”

_Blame him._ The words hung unspoken between them as Pearl pressed a hand to her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, as though to force back the confession that she sometimes found herself giving in to that weakness. Shame and guilt bubbled up within her at the thought of how he so innocently looked up to her as a role model, never knowing the way she thought about him during moments of weakness. Never aware that she sometimes caught herself wishing he had never existed.

A moment of silence passed between them before Bismuth spoke up again slowly. “I’m also the only Crystal Gem who ever had to be bubbled by Pink herself. I’m the only one of us who crossed the line she refused to even consider and wanted to shatter another Gem. For three hundred years she didn’t trust me at all. I’m lucky she ever decided to release me. It would have been so easy for her to leave me in that bubble for thousands of years… None of you would ever have known what happened to me.”

Pearl was silent, arms around her knees. Bismuth closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the anvil with a muffled thump. “… Pearl, do you remember where I was for those last few months before Pink left us? Or the first year and a half of Steven’s life?”

Slowly Pearl shook her head. “I don’t remember.”

“I was right here. I never left the forge.” Bismuth opened her eyes and stared at the far wall. “After Pink made her decision, she came here to tell me about it in private. We were right here in this room when she explained what it meant for her.” Quietly she shook her head. “I couldn’t take it. I demanded to know if everything we’d fought for, everything we’d accomplished here, the lives we’d built… if all of that meant _anything_ to her at all. I shouted at her that she was just throwing her life away. That if she’d wanted to shatter herself, I could just as easily do it for her right then and there.”

Pearl’s arms twitched and her grip tightened around her knees.

“I never understood her decision,” Bismuth went on quietly. “That was the last time I ever saw her. While she lived out what was left of her life with you, Garnet, Amethyst, and Greg, I was trying to pretend she wasn’t going to disappear. I still regret not making the most of the time she had left. But back then, all I wanted to do was work until I was too exhausted to think. By the time I snapped out of it and realized I couldn’t just hide away forever, it was too late.”

She covered her eyes with a forearm to hide the moisture that threatened to overflow. “Steven was almost two years old before I even tried to visit. I didn’t think I could handle seeing him before then. It was hard enough hearing about him from you three. But the day I finally held him in my arms for the first time… that was when I made a decision. We already knew he wasn’t just some new form of Pink’s. He was someone entirely different. So I promised myself I’d never blame him for the choice she made. He deserved to be treated as what he was; the newest Crystal Gem.”

Her eyes were dry again when she lowered her arm, only to realize with a jolt that Pearl was struggling to hold back tears. The gentle touch of Bismuth’s hand on her back broke the dam and she buried her face in her knees, shoulders trembling with emotion as she stifled her crying with her arms.

“Then you’re braver than I am,” she whispered through shuddering breaths. “Sometimes I still… can’t be around him. I know it wasn’t his fault and he wishes she was still around as much as we do… but sometimes I can’t…” Her words became incomprehensible as she broke down completely, hands clenching into fists, her breath coming in ragged sobs as tears dripped onto the floor of the forge. Bismuth slid an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, wrapping her up in a tight hug as she cried.

“We all try the best we can,” Bismuth said softly. “The only one who could ever really understand why Pink made that decision was Pink herself. But now we’ve got Steven, and we’re not gonna lose him too.”

Bismuth’s last words stirred something in Pearl’s memory. It took her a few seconds of struggling to think before she grasped it; she had said something similar to Garnet after her recent visit to the Moon Base. A muffled whimper escaped her throat at the thought of the threat the Diamonds posed to Steven. And Bismuth had no idea of the danger he was in.

Slowly her body uncurled and she sank into Bismuth’s embrace, burying her face in her shoulder, arms encircling her waist. Pearl’s fingers dug into Bismuth’s back as her entire form shook under the force of the emotional storm within her. And throughout it all Bismuth simply held her, comforting her in silence as she waited for her to calm down.

Gradually the flood of tears began to run dry. Violent sobbing faded slowly into uneven breaths, interrupted only by the occasional sniffle. She squeezed her eyes shut, head turning to one side to rest her damp cheek against Bismuth’s shoulder as she tried to collect her thoughts. And finally, when she was sure she was calm again, she relaxed her grip and withdrew.

Bismuth made no attempt to stop her from pulling away, but the concern was clear in her expression. “You all right now?”

“Yes, I… yes.” Pearl wiped the back of a wrist across her cheek. She accomplished little more than smearing ash across her damp face, though she barely seemed to notice that she had only made it worse. “Bismuth… There’s something you need to know. Steven is in danger from Homeworld. All of us are. And it’s my fault.”

“What?” A flicker of alarm crossed Bismuth’s expression. “What happened? Tell me everything.”

Pearl clasped her hands tightly in her lap again. Her gaze dropped to them, finding it far easier to stare at her interlocked fingers than look Bismuth in the eye. There was a fresh wave of guilt welling up powerfully within her chest as she began to explain, “A few weeks ago I visited the Moon Base…”

* * *

The distant clash of hammer on steel echoed from within the forge as Pearl walked along the cliffside, constantly alert to Steven’s location as he bounded along beside her. She fought to push back the twinge of regret that nudged at her mind; she should have brought him here immediately, on the very same day that Bismuth had made her suggestion. Her hesitation had now delayed the work by an extra two weeks, thanks to an unfortunate mishap during a sword fighting demonstration and Steven’s insistence on waiting for her to regenerate. It could not be helped now, but she hoped that the delay didn’t prove to be costly.

The boy was practically vibrating with excitement as they approached the forge’s entrance. “Is she really going to make me my own suit of armour?”

“That’s right, Steven,” Pearl told him with a small smile. “All of us Gems have one. Bismuth forged every last piece with her own hands.”

“Why haven’t I ever seen any of you wearing them?”

“We haven’t needed them in a very long time. They’re only for emergencies and our normal missions aren’t dangerous enough for them. I hope you’ll never need yours either, but it’s best to be prepared.”

A blast of heated air struck them from within the mountain as they reached the open doorway. Steven barely seemed to notice; he was already racing ahead down the stairs, too excited to wait any longer. “Bismuth! We’re here! Come on, Pearl!”

Pearl descended the stairs after him at a slower pace. The deafening din still reverberated throughout the room; Bismuth was hard at work, too focused on shaping the piece of glowing metal currently on her anvil to have even glanced up. Steven had come to a stop safely beyond the range of any flying sparks and was watching her work with his usual interest, both hands over his ears to protect them from the noise. Pearl made a mental note to discuss the idea of letting him help out sometimes, preferably with as many extra safety measures as possible to protect his human body.

Her work complete, Bismuth shifted her hand back to normal as she greeted her guests with a grin. “Good to see you two. Pearl, glad you’re back with us.”

Pearl nodded in greeting and found herself unconsciously standing straighter, as though presenting her new form for her friend’s inspection. She was suddenly highly aware of the yellow star upon her chest, in the place where a pink diamond had been in her previous form. It had been a surprisingly difficult decision to make. But Bismuth had been right; the best way to honour Pink’s memory was by taking the symbol she had claimed as her own rather than holding onto the one she had rejected.

She saw a flicker of surprise in Bismuth’s eyes as she noticed the star. Slowly her mouth curved into a small smile before her eyes flicked back up to Pearl’s face and she nodded silently in approval. Pearl found that she had been holding her breath; she let it out in a quiet sigh of relief, her tense muscles relaxing slightly as she smiled in return.

Suddenly she was glad she had made the change after all. Somehow, taking the star for herself made her feel stronger. It was almost as though after thousands of years she had finally set herself free.

Steven’s excited voice interrupted her thoughts. “Pearl said you’re going to make me my own suit of armour! She said all of you have one!”

Bismuth finally turned her gaze away from Pearl to flash him a grin. “That’s right. You’re a Crystal Gem, and every Crystal Gem needs a special suit of armour made by yours truly.”

“Like a membership card! The coolest membership card ever!”

“You got it. Now come over here and let me take some measurements. I might have to leave you some extra room in case of a growth spurt, but I still want to give you the best possible fit.”

As Bismuth guided him away with a hand on his shoulder, Pearl found herself lingering at the foot of the stairs. Subconsciously she found herself clasping her hands together in front of her chest, directly over the place she had once worn Pink Diamond’s insignia. Of the three of them in this room, Steven was the only one who had no idea of what she had done - and even if he had, he would not understand the full impact.

If the Diamonds attacked, a suit of armour would not be enough to keep Steven safe. But, as Bismuth had assured her, it would at least make it slightly easier for them to protect him. If they were lucky perhaps that would be enough.


End file.
